正在学习

Attention, Skills, and Relationships

A minimalist graphic on a gray background. In the top left, the number “108” is in a slanted, medium-gray font. Below in bold black text is the quote: “We become what we pay attention to.”

Now more than ever, we have to be intentional with our attention. We have to protect it and fight for it. Because you are living in a war for your attention. Your attention is money. Everyone wants it, especially when you’re looking at whatever screen is in front of you right now. Their one goal is to keep your attention. Entire algorithms and systems are built around optimizing content to hold your attention. They want you to be a prisoner. They want you to open the door, step in, and lock yourself away. The digital world is an elaborate web of Attention Traps. Waiting to capture you the moment you stray too close. I wrote about this more fully in my book Listen to Your Day: The Life-Changing Practice of Paying Attention, but I thought I’d be remiss not to at least bring it up here. Because you become what you pay attention to. You’re making payments with your attention. It’s built in the phrase. Pay attention. What are you investing your attention in right now? Just like compound interest with money, your attention investment compounds and grows with time. Are you focusing on things of worth, of substance, of meaning? Things full of heart and soul? Or is your attention on the bickering and fighting going on, on lust and perversion, on distraction as you become a Cultural Escape Artist, escaping from the world around you as you sit smack dab in the middle of it, distracted. You become what you pay attention to. The system is going to show you what it knows you will keep looking at. So the videos that are being played back at you when you’re online are kind of a reflection of the state of your soul. Do you like what you see? If not, it’s time to take back your attention. Be intentional. Make choices for yourself. Don’t let some platform hold you hostage. Put your device down and think for yourself. Take a walk. Do some gardening outside. Work with your hands creating in the physical world. Hear, feel, see, touch. Pray and ask for guidance, then listen. Pay attention to what pops into your head. Pay attention to the memory that pops up out of nowhere like a good friend you run into “out of nowhere.” We can’t have any breakthrough ideas if we don’t give ourselves the time and space to think. Take back your attention. Focus on the things you want to grow in. We become what we focus our attention on all along. Do you like what you are seeing? Do you like what you’re becoming? Pay attention.

A minimalist graphic on a gray background. In the top left, the number “109” is in a slanted, medium-gray font. Below in bold black text is the quote: “In your twenties, focus on growing these two things: your skills and your relationships.”

No matter what happens in your twenties as far as “success” and “failure” go, if you are growing your skills and growing your relationships, you’re doing well. The compounding effects of growing your skillsets and your relationships on the rest of your life will be profound. Time is your greatest ally in your twenties. Invest it wisely. I’m not talking about a manic desperation where you spin your wheels as fast as they will go, not caring where they are taking you. No, I’m talking about a consistency where your focus is spending your time wisely on: Skill sets that interest you and get you excited. Keep building those, brick by brick, with that humble consistency. Knowing that you still have so much to learn, but bringing that hunger and desire to do so. Whether you’re working for yourself or for someone else, these traits will compound over time really well. Relationships—both personal and professional. Spend intentional time growing, building, and serving others. As the world becomes more and more mechanical, digitized, robotic, and artificial, real people who are really there for you will only become more and more needed and desired. Be the person who checks in on people. Be the person who connects two like-minded people together. In those awkward social scenarios, be the person who doesn’t escape the situation through some device, but stays there. Stays present. Is the first to come up and say hello. Be the person who makes eye contact. Who asks others good questions. Focus on really seeing people. Hearing them. Volunteer to help others when you can. Be the person who compliments others instead of quietly and obsessively comparing. No matter what age we are living in, loving others well will never be out of style. Build your skill sets and your relationships. If you focus on these two things, you will be compounding your growth exponentially through your twenties and beyond.

练习题

According to the section, why must people be intentional with their attention in the digital world?

A. Because attention is unlimited and easy to recover once lost.

B. Because digital systems are designed to capture and hold attention.

C. Because screens only affect people who already lack discipline.

D. Because avoiding all technology is the only path to meaningful growth.

Which statement best captures the author’s meaning when saying, “You become what you pay attention to”?

A. Attention has little effect unless it is connected to career success.

B. Attention only matters when it is spent on social media.

C. Repeated focus shapes a person’s identity, desires, and growth over time.

D. People become successful mainly by ignoring relationships and distractions.

In the section about the twenties, what two areas does the author say should be the main focus?

A. Fame and financial independence

B. Skills and relationships

C. Comfort and certainty

D. Speed and public recognition

Which actions align with the author’s advice for taking back attention and creating space for better ideas?

A. Put the device down and think for yourself.

B. Take a walk or work with your hands in the physical world.

C. Let platforms decide what you should keep watching.

D. Create time and space to think.

E. Focus attention on the things you want to grow in.

Which behaviors reflect the author’s advice for building skills and relationships in the twenties?

A. Build interesting skills brick by brick with humble consistency.

B. Spend intentional time growing, building, and serving others.

C. Escape awkward social situations by looking at a device.

D. Be present, make eye contact, and ask good questions.

E. Treat early failure as proof that growth is impossible.

Online recommendations can become a kind of mirror because platforms show people more of what they keep looking at.

The author suggests that because the world is becoming more digitized and artificial, real human presence will become less valuable.

The author compares attention to money by saying that attention investment ___ and grows with time.

According to the author, time is your greatest ___ in your twenties.

How does the author’s advice about focusing on skills and relationships in your twenties connect with the earlier warning that obsession can isolate people?

Explain how intentionally directing attention can affect both personal identity and long-term growth.

How can a person in their twenties respond wisely to early failure while still following the section’s advice?

A person in their twenties is working nonstop to become successful, but they are neglecting friendships, health, and character. Which response best combines the advice about building a life with the warning about obsession?

A. Keep pursuing success at any cost because obsession is always the clearest path to greatness.

B. Slow down completely and avoid ambitious goals because sacrifice is always harmful.

C. Evaluate whether the sacrifices are worth it, and focus on growing skills and relationships with humble consistency.

D. Prioritize online visibility first because digital attention is the strongest measure of long-term growth.

Which statements accurately combine the lesson about early success or failure in one’s twenties with the lesson about perspective during painful or disappointing events?

A. A failure in the present may not have its full meaning until later.

B. If someone is growing skills and relationships, early success or failure is not the only measure of whether they are doing well.

C. People should quickly label every setback as either a total tragedy or a total triumph.

D. Time can become an ally when invested wisely in long-term growth.

E. Painful events always prove immediately that a person made the wrong choice.

Because attention compounds over time, giving constant attention to a single ambition is always healthy, even if it isolates you from others.

In an increasingly artificial and digitized world, the current section says to stay present with people, while the prior section warns that unhealthy obsession can ___ people.

登录后解锁笔记、知识点解析、AI 问答

立即登录