Hope, Adult Providers, Budgeting, and Defining Success

When I felt like my 20s were smothering my face with a pillow and I couldn’t breathe, I’d break away to Griffith Park—a magical land of green, trees, and hills, encased by LA. I’d climb high above the Hollywood sign, and there, looking across vast LA-ness, I’d audibly encourage myself (quite loudly) that I had hope. That there were bigger and better plans. That this was just a short season. I would thank God that He’d already given me a way out, even when visibly there wasn’t one yet. Sometimes you have to climb hills and declare the truth of your bright future instead of the reality of your lackluster present. Sometimes you have to war for hope. You have a purpose worth pursuing and you have to keep talking about it so you don’t forget.

On one of my hikes back from the hill above the Hollywood sign, after warring for hope due to the latest rounds of rejection emails I’d received, the light of the day was beginning to fade. As I walked around a bend and took a few steps more, I felt something in front of me and froze instantly. There standing in my path was a giant buck deer! Frozen and staring at me as I was him. There we stayed for a while, both of us probably wondering the same thoughts of what to do next.

There, standing and staring at this buck, I had this overwhelming feeling of hope and thankfulness come over me. Here I was, standing in the heart of Los Angeles and I was face to face with one of the biggest bucks I’d ever seen. In this season that felt desolate and discarded, it was a reminder that magnificent things were still happening. As the buck finally broke our staring contest and slowly disappeared into the trees, I thanked God.

If you feel surrounded by dread and discouragement, break away from all the screens and the noise. Find the place of solace in your sphere. Ask God to fill you with His hope that does not disappoint. Keep reminding yourself that you’re in good hands. Your story doesn’t end here. It’s just the beginning.

I’ve heard from far too many twentysomethings who are caught up believing the lie that they’ve somehow missed their chance. Believe me, you’ll look back twenty years from now and realize how far off from the truth that feeling was. You have a hope and a future, and you have to keep reminding yourself of that fact. Go now, war for hope. Magnificent things are still happening, even if you can’t see them.

“Yeah, he’s MY mechanic.” “I called MY dentist.” My chiropractor. My doctor. My personal trainer. Yes, I’m old enough to have me one of these. Just try and stop me. And then when you start getting all-kinds-of-official—MY accountant. MY attorney. MY acupuncturist. MY housekeeper. Yes, I have money. Yes, I have health insurance. Yes, I have a house. Welcome to Adultland. I am your host. Yeah, and if you could be a sport and take your shoes off at the door that would be great. My floor guy just came. Thanksabunch …

Success is the most subjective word in the history of subjective words. If you don’t grab some markers and paint a picture of what it looks like. If you don’t light its candle to see how it smells. If you don’t look it in the eye and call it by name, then you’re going to chase a figment of someone else’s imagination. You can’t find something when you’ve never actually decided what you’re looking for. If you don’t define success, it will stay an unidentified flying object that you’ll never take a picture of. What does success mean to you? What are the strengths, skills, values, rhythms, and routines that paint your picture of what a successful, meaningful life looks like to you? Your definition of success might look different than your parents’, your best friend’s, your boss’s, or it might look very much the same. The key is—don’t make “success” a vague, ambiguous ghost, floating around without definition. Don’t let success haunt you as an apparition you can’t see. A portrait artist commissioned to do a painting of someone would not try to paint that portrait based on the description someone else is giving them. That would be absurd. No, the portrait artist would have that person sitting in front of them. To accurately paint what they are trying to paint. Same with success. Don’t start creating a life based on someone else’s description of success. Define what success is to you so that you can see, study, and accurately paint what you’re trying to paint.