Bad Leaders, Patience, and Karaoke Compatibility

Bad leaders strut around the office like peacocks, displaying their bad habits in full color. But you know what, we can learn as much from bad leaders as we can from the good. Begin writing down all the things your not-so-splendid boss does that you swear you won’t repeat. Someday you will be called to lead. Start formulating your vision now of how you will, and won’t, do it. Again, sometimes you learn the most from the jobs you like the least. Learn what you need to learn now, so you don’t have to take another trip around the sun learning it again.

One of the hardest things about adulthood is that it doesn’t stop. Consistent, constant every-day-ness. And to not burn out on Adult Every-Day-Ness you need to take some Nothing Vacations. What’s a Nothing Vacation? It’s a vacation where you do, well, nothing. No family. No friends. Nothing. My wife and I just agreed we’re taking one. Next month. No kids. No itinerary. Just sleep. Food. Books. Sleep. Food. Rinse. Repeat. For more of a weekly routine to combat Adult Every-Day-Ness, try building in the habit of taking a Sabbath day once a week where you put down all work for a day, hide your phone in a box, and actually live in the day you’re living in. Praying. Walking. Reading. Spending time with your spouse, kids, dog, mom, dad, sibling, friends … The most unproductive thing we can do in this constant every-day-ness is to try and be productive at all times. If you keep grinding every day without rest, you will be ground down to an exhausted, burnt-out mess. Step away from the every-day-ness once a week so that you can see the next day for the gift it is.

Before you turn that “possibility” into something much more significant, take them to karaoke. Your Karaoke-Compatibility will tell you a lot about your readiness for happily ever after. Let’s examine some karaoke personality types and then how they mesh together.

The Cat in the Bath This is the person who will fight and claw with every ounce in them before they take a step up on that stage. You have a better chance putting an alley cat in a bathtub and coming out unscathed than dealing with the Karaoke-Cat.

The Three-Drink Minimum They’re not sniffing that stage until that third drink is at least in hand. And we’re not talking ginger ales.

The Double-Down They don’t need a drink, they need a duo. Unless you’re standing by their side, they’re not singing.

The Show Stopper A U2 song, then Pink, then Johnny Cash, then the Chantelles. The Show Stopper doesn’t care about genre just as long as the mic is in their hands. All night long. They’re putting on a show and you’re just their groupie.

The All-Talk They’ve been talking about karaoke for a month, bragging about that time they sang a Whitney Houston song and the earth stopped spinning. But the moment their song is up, they are mysteriously in the bathroom yet again.

The Melancholy Molly Surprisingly, they volunteer to be up on stage first and by themselves. A little shocked by their willingness, you snag a table and wait for the show. The music starts, he or she closes their eyes (they don’t need to look at the words), and next thing you know they’re singing with their whole voice, heart, and soul, “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinéad O’Connor. They sing the song well, a little too well, and at the end a few people in the crowd are dabbing their eyes with their sleeves, the once raucous room now sounding more sober than a funeral service.

The Competitor Why did they bring a piece of paper and a pen, you ask? Oh, they’re keeping score. Karaoke is not something you do; it’s something you win.

The Fun at All Costs They don’t care about the lyrics or the melody, they care about making it fun. For themselves and the crowd. They dance and jump and run in place. Embarrassment is not in their vocabulary. Nor is singing on key.

The Surpriser Soft-spoken and shy, The Surpriser quietly walks up, picks a Christina Aguilera song, and before you even realize they’re on stage, they bust out the first verse that makes even the bartender stop to marvel. The Surpriser finishes and walks back to a standing ovation.

KARAOKE CLARIFYING

How Karaoke-Compatible are you? The Cat in a Bath and the Show Stopper might be a great fit for each other because one can’t be dragged off the stage and one can’t be dragged on. The Show Stopper and the Fun at All Costs, even though they both like being on stage, it’s for very different oil-and-water reasons. The Fun at All Costs and the Melancholy Molly might balance each other out well. If you both have a little Double-Down, a life of fun singing together might await.

Before you say “I Do,” say “Yes” to a night of karaoke. A $10 cover fee and some embarrassment belting out Bruce Springsteen might save you a lot of pain and money later.