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Weddings, Prom Feelings, and Signs You’re Not Quite Adult
Weddings, Prom Feelings, and Signs You’re Not Quite Adult
You don’t know what to wear. You eat an overpriced meal. The dance is a little awkward, especially if you showed up without a date. And the whole night you’re slightly bummed you didn’t get elected to the Groomsman/Bridesmaid Royalty Court.
HERE ARE 24 SIGNS YOU’RE … WHEW … NOT THAT ADULT:
- The thought of becoming an adult makes you toss up a few Fruity Pebbles.
- You see nothing wrong with still eating Fruity Pebbles. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
- TGIF still means something more to you (aka you still watch Boy Meets World, Hannah Montana, or whatever show you grew up with that makes you nostalgic for a childhood that you didn’t actually have, but sure wish you did).
- At the first sight of snow you hope work is canceled tomorrow.
- You ironed your dress shirts for a month in your new job, and then decided a much easier strategy was to just stop believing that wrinkles exist.
- You bring empty Tupperware to work to take home leftover office food.
- You don’t have kids. Or dogs. But you have two houseplants! Or you used to have two houseplants. Who knew you had to consistently water them?!
- You’ve actually run full speed in the last month, and you didn’t pull any muscles.
- Come 8:00 p.m. you still have trouble telling the difference between hungry, thirsty, tired, or just bored. So you eat Little Caesars and Skittles.
- You’re still a little miffed your parents turned your old bedroom into an art room/office. Seriously, did your time with them mean nothing?
- You still enjoy your birthday.
- You’ve stayed up until 1 a.m. at least once this week playing video games.
- You spent an hour at work looking up internet memes.
- You know what an internet meme is.
- You still go to your parents’ house to do laundry.
- You secretly hope when you go to your parents’ house to do laundry that your mom will do it for you.
- And then you double-secretly-hope that while it’s in the dryer she’ll make you a sandwich and that dip you love.
- You’re still on your parents’ cellphone plan.
- You’re still on your parents’ car insurance.
- You’re still driving your parents’ car.
- You’re back living in your parents’ converted art room/office.
- You think a 401(k) is a bike race down the West Coast.
- You could sing five of the latest pop songs right now in their entirety.
- You see a high schooler walking down the street and think, Gosh, I want those pants.
练习题
According to the section, what is attending weddings in your 20s compared to?
A. Going to high school prom all over again
B. Starting a serious retirement plan
C. Hosting a family reunion
D. Taking a final exam without studying
Which detail best shows that wedding attendance can feel awkward and status-conscious?
A. You confidently know exactly what to wear.
B. You are slightly bummed you were not elected to the Groomsman/Bridesmaid Royalty Court.
C. You leave early because the meal is free.
D. You feel completely relaxed because everyone is focused only on the couple.
Which item from the list most clearly shows dependence on parents as a sign of unfinished adulthood?
A. You still enjoy your birthday.
B. You know what an internet meme is.
C. You still go to your parents’ house to do laundry.
D. You can sing five of the latest pop songs.
Which statements are examples of the section’s “not quite adult” behaviors? Select all correct answers.
A. Still eating Fruity Pebbles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
B. Forgetting that houseplants need consistent watering
C. Thinking a 401(k) is a bike race down the West Coast
D. Being fully financially independent from parents
E. Replacing every complaint with a practical created solution
The phrase “You grow into GROWING UP” suggests that adulthood is presented as a gradual process rather than an instant transformation.
In the section, bringing empty Tupperware to work for leftover office food and deciding wrinkles do not exist are used as examples of polished, fully mature professionalism.
The section treats nostalgia for childhood shows and childish food preferences as signs that someone may not feel fully adult.
The section jokes that someone who thinks a ___ is a bike race down the West Coast is showing financial immaturity.
How do the wedding comparison and the list of “not that adult” signs work together to describe young adulthood?
Compare the section’s idea of avoiding adult responsibility with the prior idea that some coworkers create awkward workplace interactions, such as the UnMuter or Online Meeting Multi-Tasker.
Which response best combines the section’s idea of not-quite-adult avoidance with the earlier idea of replacing complaining with constructive action?
A. Stop ironing dress shirts by deciding wrinkles do not exist, then complain that work expects professional clothes.
B. Notice that keeping houseplants alive requires consistency, then create a simple watering routine instead of joking forever about dead plants.
C. Bring empty Tupperware to work for leftovers and complain when there is no free food.
D. Stay on your parents’ cellphone plan and describe it as creating opportunity.
Which statements accurately connect the current section’s humor about unfinished adulthood with prior ideas about creating rather than complaining?
A. Depending on parents for laundry, phone plans, or cars can be read as a humorous sign of unfinished adulthood.
B. Creating opportunity rather than waiting for it contrasts with passively relying on others to handle adult responsibilities.
C. The text says that singing pop songs is the main way to become a Passionate Pursuer.
D. Avoiding responsibility, such as pretending wrinkles do not exist, fits the opposite of proactive and powerful creating.
E. Complaining is presented as proactive and powerful, while creating is passive and powerless.
The awkwardness of attending weddings in your twenties can be linked to the earlier discussion of awkward workplace interactions because both sections use exaggerated social discomfort to make ordinary adult situations humorous.
The current section’s joke that you stop believing wrinkles exist shows avoiding responsibility; the prior section would most directly challenge this by saying to create a ___ instead of merely pointing out or ignoring the problem.
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